Playing House

Josh and I just celebrated our first month-iversary. Congratulations to us! We haven't taken our honeymoon yet, but real life is starting to set in.

I read somewhere about the post-wedding depression that some women experience. After all the drama and hype and stress and stage-fright and princess-ness of of being a bride is over, suddenly I'm faced with the pile of thank-you notes and the long hours at home by myself with the cat and the new city with its busy highways, and I'm no longer a bride.

I'm a wife.

The song from Working keeps runnning through my head...

All I am is just a housewife
Nothing special, nothing great
What I do is kinda boring
If you'd rather, it can wait
All I am is someone's mother
All I am is someone's wife
All of which seems unimportant
All it is is
Just my life


In my former life, I was uber-busy with a full-time and a part-time teaching job, finishing my thesis project, leading a small-group, serving on several leadership team committees, discipling two amazing young women, maintaining multiple friendships and family relationships, and blogging on a regular basis.

Oh, and I had a long-distance stranger- turned-boyfriend- turned-fiance.

Some days, that's about the relative percentage of time and energy I gave him.

This week...let's see... I've done several loads of laundry, run the dishwasher a couple of times, dusted the new furniture, fed the cat, watched a lot of Rachel Ray's cooking show trying to get motivated to cook, fed the husband, read a book about South Carolina, helped a friend pack up her kitchen, finished Christmas shopping, wrote a million thank-you notes (actually 74), napped on the couch while my husband played video games, packed for our honeymoon, got lost driving around KC, went to a Christmas party, and blogged. (once!!! today!!! finally!!!)

Oh yeah, and when Josh comes home from work, I'm waiting at the cottage door.
Who could ask for anything more?

My about-town-working-girl little sister just kind of laughed at me when I told her what I had been doing lately.

I'm in the process of looking for a "real" job (aka substitute teaching or reading specialist something), but I've been surprisingly blessed by the whole stay-at-home "being married" thing this month. It was one thing to study Scripture about marriage, or to read "successful marriage" books before we got married, and to anticipate the theoretical joy of togetherness. But there's a practical level of being a wife that is strangely fulfilling. Who knew I'd start to enjoy doing the dishes?

I can see how it is comforting and encouraging and helpful to Josh to see a friendly face and a hot meal (or at least chips and salsa) at 10:30 p.m. when he gets home from class.

But it's more than that...for me, it's been a challenge for, and a release from, my performance- product-oriented- purpose-driven personality.

How many sermons have I heard about casting off the legalistic works-based-salvation idea of "doing" good works for God's kingdom and learning to just "be" the church, to "be" in the Lord's presence, to "be" a Christian.

Taking away all of the jobs and roles I used to fulfill has made me confront what it means to just simply love and be loved, both by the Lord and by my husband.

Taking on the "Martha" role for a solid month of housework has actually helped me understand the "Mary" role of drawing near and enjoying the presence of my beloved.