Suspension of Disbelief

New blog

2008-10-25T13:10:00.003-05:00

Hey all -

I have moved my blogging over to a new shared blog with my hubby at wordpress. Check it out here.

In the beginning was the Word

2007-11-13T19:35:00.000-06:00

Eliminating weak vocabularies and hungry tummies, one word, one grain of rice at a time.

Play now: www.freerice.com

p.s. Thanks to Anna for the great link!
I just donated 5 bowls of rice and have a vocab score of 41 !

Indeed

2007-10-09T18:34:00.001-05:00

Indeed...what have I been doing for the last 109 days (aka: Since the Last Time I Blogged!)?

Here are a few updates:

Marriage? Love it!

Josh and I will celebrate 11 months this week, and I'm finding our marriage to be a source of great strength, joy, growth, and peace. We're not without our challenges, but we are so richly blessed. Josh has many more deep thoughts in this season of life, trying to figure out his/our future jobs/degree/housing locations/finances/goals/purpose/etc. I'm learning to take more and more pleasure in walking with him and being a wife.

House Projects? Check!

We're done with all the trim painting and grout scrubbing we're gonna do. Now we just have to keep it clean... It turned out really cute, thanks to a million hours of labor. I think the time sheets go like this:

Josh--999,483 hours Sarah--326 hours Assorted Family and Friends--281 hours

Our house officially went on the market a few weeks ago, and we've had several open houses and agents' walk-through tours. No offers yet, so you can join us in praying for the right buyer.

Work? We made our Count Day Goal!

It's kind of too complicated to explain here, but basically for the last 6 weeks, I've been working a ton of overtime for Count Day, which is the way our school gets funded, based on the number of attending students we have. I've made literally hundreds of phone calls trying to convince former students to return to school for this semester and put in their Count Day "time". Many of my students' lives are heartbreakingly chaotic, which makes attending school difficult. Lack of transportation, day care, working phones, bus fare, safe home environments, the list of obstacles is overwhelming.

But we did it...or actually, they did it...for themselves, for their children and extended families. Hopefully they'll stick around this year, finish their classes, and be able to walk across the stage in May.

I really am enjoying this job, even through the Count Day craziness. I'm glad for the relaxed change of pace now (as I'm blogging at work!), but it was worth it. As the big rainbow with the pot of gold nuggets (each representing a student who did Count Day) proclaims..."Education Promises a Brighter Future." I believe that, at least in a secular sense, and am continuing to seek ways to make this about God's kingdom, not just a diploma.

Small Group? Multiplied!

At the beginning of September we multiplied into two groups. Ben and Leah are leading one group at Phil and Cassie's house, and Josh and I now meet at Chad and Becky's. We're reading a book by Jack Deere called Surprised by the Voice of God. It's about hearing God's voice specifically through the Holy Spirit, and is an introduction to prophesy and the various gifts of the Spirit. We've had some great discussions, and the Lord has been answering my prayer that people in our group would not only read the book, but start to experience some of the "stuff" that the book talks about.

Our friend Denise had a cool experience recently where the Lord healed a pain in her neck and head, and we're anxious to see what else God's going to share with us us as we learn to ask Him and then actually listen.

Fun Adventures? As often as we can!

Over the past few months, we've been to the Renaissance Festival, OctoberFest, the Weston Apple Festival, the Plaza Art Festival, Independence Wild West Days (or something), DesMoines for a business trip, Omaha to see Anna, Wichita to see my college girls, Chapman to visit the 'rents, and Josh's brother Jared and our sister-in-law Heather came to visit us!

We've watched Cam and Shar's 4-year old son Caleb play soccer, our cat Rio has put on 2 1/2 pounds, Halo-3 came out and Josh's XBox360 tragically went on the fritz, the upstairs shower floor finally stopped leaking, we started to plan a backpacking trip to Europe, the RAV got new tires, and God's grace sustained us through it all. He is truly good.

So there you have it...Apologies for the long absence...Hopefully I'm back to my on-line life.

I'm the show! Don't miss the show!

2007-07-25T17:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday and today I helped with VBS. My job was to tell the Bible Story while the kids were waiting to start craft time. I had 10 minutes with each group, and I had to give this performance 8 times in 2 hours. Here's the story I told today. See if you can read this whole thing aloud, with feeling, in 10 minutes! Well, 9 1/2, giving them time to line up at the door at the end.

Hi guys! Welcome to day 3 of VBS! Please sit down on the floor in the middle. Not on the table, thanks! (18 elementary kids scramble around finding a place to sit.)

Please sit where you're not touching anyone else! Yep, that means you, in the cowboy hat. Hands to yourself, thanks! Everybody's eyes on me! I'm the show...you don't want to miss the show. So yesterday we talked about Joshua and his Israelite buddies who are traveling across the desert, having lots of adventures. What happened to them yesterday? They had to cross the Jordan River, but it was...

FLOODED!

You're right...and they were scared! But what can we remember when we're feeling scared? That God is...

WITH US! YEE-HAW! (in a throw-back to Pee-Wee's play-house and the word-of-the-day, everytime someone says a "VBS Truth" you say "yee-haw." )

Yep. God is always with us. (yee-haw!) Now before we hear today's story, how many of you play some kind of sport or activity where you have a coach?

Me! Me!! Soccer! Softball! Cheerleading! Football! Gymnastics! Guitar!

Awesome...the rest of you can put your hands down. Thanks for volunteering. So let's pretend I'm your coach, and you guys are all my soccer team. What if I said, "Okay, team, we're gonna have a great season! I know we can win all of our games! Here's how you play soccer. This is a ball. This is my foot. Watch me kick a goal." Now am I being a good coach?

NO!

Why not? What am I doing wrong?

WE DIDN'T GET TO PLAY!

Huh. So if I'm going to be a good coach, I have to let everyone participate in the game, right? Please quit kicking your neighbor, Dylan, thanks. Well, did you know that God wants His children to participate in His plan? Today's story about Joshua and his Israelite buddies getting to participate.

Joshua and his Israelite buddies are still walking across the desert, and they come to the town of Jericho. They're supposed to go into the city and take it over, but there's a big problem. What's the problem with Jericho?

IT HAS A HUGE WALL!

You're right! So if God wanted to, what could God have done to that wall?

Silence...NOT BUILT IT?

Well, yeah, or God could have just gone Bash, Smash, Crash, No More Jericho! But what did we learn about God? He wants his children to ...

(with prompting from a team leader) PARTICIPATE

in His...

(more prompting) PLAN!

Yep, God wants His children to participate in His plan. So He wants Joshua and the Israelites to knock down the wall. Now this wasn't any ordinary kind of wall like this cinder block here. If it was, Joshua would be able to just do some karate chops (Sarah does impressive kick towards wall) and knock it down.

(kids are impressed)

No, this was like the Wall of China. It was huge. And God had a plan. He told Joshua that the Israelites were supposed to walk around the wall, once a day, for 6 days. Now does that sound like a good plan to you?

YES!

It does? To walk around a wall? I mean, no offense, God, but wouldn't it be quicker to just use a bulldozer, or a wrecking ball, or shoot a cannon at the wall?

OH YEAH!

But when God gives us a plan, what are we supposed to do?

LISTEN! OBEY! DO IT!

Yep, so Joshua and his guys walked around the wall. Day 1, walk around the wall, go home, have lunch, take a nap. Day 2, walk around the wall, play some basketball. Day 3, walk around the wall, Day 4, Day 5, do you think they're getting dizzy yet? Day 6, walk around the wall.

Now if you were living in Jericho, standing up on top of the wall, looking down, what would you be thinking? Are the Israelites crazy? Do they think this is a track for exercising? Are they lost? What is going on?

But then on Day 7, God told Joshua to walk around the city 7 times. So around they go...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and on the 7th time, Joshua said to his men, "Shout, men, raise your voices! Today the Lord has given us this city!" So all the Israelites shouted and yelled, like when someone scores a touchdown, or when the teacher says it's time for recess.

And the people in Jericho are saying, "Hey, could you be quiet down there!" But then the dishes on the table start to rattle. And the picture frames fall off the wall. All the cats in Jericho get scared and hide under the bed. The walls start to crack, and pretty soon it's like one of those movies when all the buildings are crumbling, and then, the walls of Jericho...

FELL DOWN!

Yep, and the Israelites were able to go into Jericho and take over the city. So how do you think Joshua and his buddies felt?

AWESOME!

Yep, because they did what?

LISTENED TO GOD!!! PARTICIPATED IN HIS PLAN!!! KNOCKED DOWN THE WALL!!!

You're all right! So when we pray, or listen to parents and teachers, or read the Bible, we learn God's plan. And what are we supposed to do then?

LISTEN! DO IT! OBEY! KNOCK DOWN WALLS! YEE-HAW!

Yep! Okay, time for crafts! Line up behind your teacher!

I grab a drink of water and greet the next group who are waiting in the hall. Whew... I came home for lunch and promptly took a nap.

It was the longest series of 10 minutes of my life! Yee-Haw!

been a while

2007-07-23T15:22:00.000-05:00

Obviously, I haven't blogged in a while, so if you're even checking this, thanks for sticking around!

You can check out Josh's blog for recent pictures of our trip to North Carolina for my brother-in-law's wedding. Congratulations, Jared and Heather!

I'm in the middle of a 3-week summer vacation before we start school again August 6. The last time I had a week off (Spring Break), I pretty much wasted the entire time. Nothing checked off the to-do list...no little gold stars on the sticker chart...not a good situation.

This week, however, I was determined to get some stuff done. We're nearing the end of the fix-it-up projects on our house, so I put my Dave's Paint Crew skills to work.

I'm proud to say that I checked everything off my list for last week: trim paint around the living room ceiling; clean the scary floor underneath the fridge and stove; trim paint behind said major appliances; catch up on laundry; pack up extra books in office; hang out with Shar and her kids; clean out leftovers from the fridge; finish scrapbooking summer pictures.

Yay for productivity! Gold star on the sticker chart! (don't worry...we don't really have one of those)

Josh has been pouring concrete and laying tile in our 2nd story bathroom, so I'm also his go-fer girl, running up and down the stairs to find mysterious things like the miter saw box, or the can of denatured alcohol, or a piece of scrapwood at least 25" but not longer than 36", or to hold the PVC pipe steady until the glue dries. I'm trying to be a good helper! Josh taught me how to use the sheet-rock saw, and I got to cut a hole in the wall for the air-return vent. Good times!

But honestly, I'm ready to go back to work. I think I'm getting house-fatigue...I like where we live, for the most part, but I am definitely ready to have a weekend without any fix-it projects.

I'm so grateful for Josh's skill and determination in getting our house ready to put on the market. We're getting better at working together on projects without arguing. I wish I had some wise insight or poetic application about the whole fixing-it-up-ness that we're going through, but my head's kind of empty right now.

That's what happens when you're on vacation.

Camping Trip!

2007-06-17T17:02:00.000-05:00

This weekend a bunch of us from small group went up to Watkins Mill Campground, near Kearney. It was a hot weekend, but we had a shady campsite and a lake to swim in. We also had several cheeky raccoons who wanted to raid our food supply!

Here's Josh, whose fire-building skills kept him from getting voted off the island...

Here are the girls...we look pretty good right here, but you should have seen us with the sunburn/ lake swim/ no showers/ smelling like smoke and sweat and bug spray/ ketchup stains. Gorgeous! From the left are Cassie, Ashley, Becky, Denise and Sarah.

The boys invent a new breakfast favorite: scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, and black pepper on tortillas. Camping Burritos!! From the left are Chad, Phil, Josh and Mike.

Chad prepares to cook another marshmallow. That's why they're called s'mores!
A good time was had by all! See you in September!

Joe and Mel

2007-05-12T14:47:00.000-05:00

The school where I teach is in an old shopping mall. The mall manager is named Joe. He's in his early 60s, and he makes me miss both of my grandfathers.

Joe is in several grown-up Boy-Scout organizations like the Shriners, or maybe the Elks Club. He takes his wife square dancing on Friday night, and gives the teachers here free tickets to the Tonginoxie rodeo.

Usually Joe wears grey slacks and a Miller Security button-down short sleeve work shirt and black dress shoes, but today he came in wearing plaid golfing shorts and a white tank top.

With the dress shoes.

"Gonna be hot today," he told me.

Joe likes hearing stories about my life, and since we didn't have any students in yet, he pulled up a chair and I found all of our pictures on Josh's blog Flickr site.

Mel stopped by shortly after Joe did. Mel is the mall maintenance guy, who likes to grumble about the new mayor, the potholes in the parking lot, the worn out belt on the vacuum cleaner, and his kids who "just don't got no sense some of these days."

Joe and Mel stayed for an hour looking at pictures.

They argued about whether Josh looked better with or without facial hair, whether Anna and I looked alike or not, and which wedding picture they wanted a copy of to hang in their office (they finally decided on the one where we're putting gas in the RAV, still wearing our wedding clothes).

I showed them the pictures from our trip to the Topeka Zoo...Mel said, very seriously, that he had never liked giraffes, because they looked like they were "up to something."

Good times.

Cat & House - 2; Josh & Sarah - 0

2007-05-07T18:50:00.000-05:00

It stormed all weekend in Kansas City, leaving us with a sopping wet yard, but fortunately a dry basement. I like thunderstorms and wish we had a bigger front porch to watch the wicked lightning and pounding rain.

Our cat, however, does not like storms. His tail gets all fuzzy, a la Calvin's buddy, Hobbes. On Saturday night, I was awakened by the simultaneous sounds of a crazy loud crack of thunder, Josh shouting in pain, and the cat scrambling out the door to find a safe hiding spot.

Scared by the thunder, Rio had used Josh's leg as a launch pad to leap off the bed, leaving behind four distinct puncture wounds and three deep scratches. Ouch! I'm not sure Rio felt all that bad about it...check out Rio's expression in this picture: Guilty as charged, Your Honor!

Score: Rio - 1; Josh - 0

-----------------------

The second injury of the weekend occurred when I was getting ready for bed on Sunday evening. Our house is pretty old and occasionally quirky, one of those quirks being the 71.5" (5 feet 11 1/2 inches) bathroom door, compared to standard 80"(6 feet 6 inches) or 84" (6 feet 10 inches) interior door heights.

So I was hopping around the house (don't ask...I just like to hop sometimes. Anna knows...I think it started when I lived with her in Sioux Falls).

Anyway, I brushed my teeth, and then hopped out of the bathroom, straight smack up into the door frame of our previously mentioned tiny bathroom door. Now I'm almost 5' 9", and I'm a pretty good hopper, so that's a whole lot of hop-power slamming the top of my head into a wooden door frame 3 inches above me.

I saw stars.

I crumpled to the floor, swearing and sobbing at the same time. I felt like a moron.

Josh quickly got the bag of popcorn kernels from the freezer for my rapidly-rising goose egg and fixed a big mug of medicine that was equal parts rum and sprite, with a little lime juice.

Oh, the headache.

I quickly didn't care that the combination of the thunderstorm and a worn-out VCR tape had only picked up the audio from the TAR finale, with little broken snatches of video. I didn't even care that Eric and Pink won, and they're like my least favorite contestants ever, being a dreadful combination of "that guy" and every girl who lets herself get dragged along through life by that guy.

Josh put me to bed and made me swear off hopping, at least until we move to a different house with people-sized doorways.

Score: House - 1; Sarah - 0

Z O O !

2007-05-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

For Josh's birthday, my parents took us to the Topeka Zoo. Josh's favorite animal was this little tamarin.

Mom and Sarie in the rain forest jungle.

Two little monkeys up in the tree.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

2007-04-27T08:36:00.000-05:00

Saturday is Josh's official special day, but we started celebrating early on Thursday evening with our Small Group friends at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was quite a party, complete with trivia games and the Miller Lite girls. We finished the evening back at Phil and Cassie's for root beer floats and video games. Happy 27th Birthday!

Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

2007-04-07T16:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, so these pictures were taken in the parking lot of the place where I work. Most handicapped parking spots are marked with a yellow stick person sitting in a wheel chair. I honestly mean no disrespect for the actual people who need to use these handicapped parking spots... I'm just confused.

What is this guy doing? Hula-hooping? Cartwheels? The Pee-Wee Herman Dance?
Or what about here? I think I see the wheelchair guy, but is that the LochNess Monster on his lap?
This one reminds me of this cowboy thing my Grandpa Detrich used to have down at his office, where you tried to tip the little guy off of his stump, but he was balanced with a big long pole, like a tight-rope walker. Kind of hard to explain.

As is this:
This one is probably my favorite, considering that where I work is sort of ghetto.
This is the designated spot for gunmen to park. How thoughtful.

Not a Flannel Board Jesus

2007-03-23T18:24:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of the flannel boards I made for our Small Group. The first one is the Nativity, and the second is the Temptation in the Desert.

Coming up soon...The Feeding of the 5,000! That's a lot of little fish to cut out!!

The book we're reading continues to emphasize that Christ was not simply the meek, kind, flannel-clad figure we learned about in Sunday School. It's definitely challenging the way I think about Jesus and my relationship with Him.

Here are a few of the guys having an impromptu praise and worship session at the end of small group: Josh, Mike S., Chad and Phil.
And here are some of the girls I've been blessed to shepherd and fellowship with over the past 5 weeks: Cassie, Denise, myself & Becky.

Rescue Feline-1-1

2007-03-21T17:46:00.000-05:00

So you may have heard that we have this cat, Rio, who is kind of quirky. He loves to sit up against the screen door and look outside at the trash blowing down our street and smell the fresh air.

This morning, Josh opened the window in the office, right next to the spot on the desk where Rio sits. The cat was enjoying the breeze, and then he realized that by batting the loose screen aside (another spring break non-project?), he could really get a taste of the great outdoors.

Before we knew it, Rio had his whole head, both front paws, and half of his sizable belly sticking out the window! He was hanging out over the side of the house, about 10 feet above the ground. Josh had to grab Rio's tail and then handfuls of fur to haul him back to safety.

Rio was yelling at Josh, Josh was yelling at Rio, and I...was laughing. I can't help it...at heart, I'm still a Detrich!

I am honestly growing to like our cat, and he's definitely proving valuable in the whole "practicing parenthood" thing. Note to self: Fix the screen before you have kids.

Things and things

2007-03-21T16:26:00.000-05:00

How has it been almost a month since I last posted?? Apologies to those of you who still occasionally drop by this site to see if I have anything new to say.

Here are a few highlights from the past weeks:

*Josh and I celebrated our 1st "first sight" anniversary...February 25 was one year from the day we actually met in person. Praise to the Lord for allowing us to walk together in His presence and for His glory!

*My job at 500 Reach is going well. It's pretty rewarding to work with these people who are returning to school after facing some tough realities. I'm continually inspired and blessed by their personal stories and hard work.

*Small group continues to be awesome. We're through 3 chapters of The Jesus I Never Knew, and we're learning a lot! Good-bye, flannel-board Jesus!

This week we're trying live worship with Josh and Mike S on the guitar, and Phil on the violin. I'm sure it will be a joyful noise! We're anticipating adding two if not three new couples to the group...we're going to need more chairs!

I think everyone in our group is sort of surprised (or relieved?) to find that they enjoy hanging out with eachother outside of small group, too. It's like we knew we were all in it for Thursday Bible Study, but we've also had fun playing UNO and Speed Scrabble on the weekends, sharing meals and lots of laughter. What a blessing and a gift this fellowship is!

*Josh took a 4-day trip to Birmingham for Brice's wedding, and had many adventures including a St. Patrick's Day bachelor's party, karaoke, and probably a few stories that are better left in Alabama. The photographer referred to Josh as "the cute groomsman" which gave his ego a little boost.

*Husband-less for the first time in 4 months, I spent Friday night hanging out with BJ, Gail, Sharla, Donna, Emily, Tionna, Denise, and Tiffanie. What an amazing bunch of women! Southern comfort food, Friends quotes, silly stories, late-night Target runs...I felt like I was back in college. p.s. Girls...I'd love to see pictures of our adventures!

*Saturday I drove down to Inman, KS, (by McPherson) to visit my dear friend Jodi, and attend her sister's wedding shower. 30 women showed up for the "tea party" and to celebrate Melanie and Chuck. I love wearing hats and eating cucumber sandwiches!! Yay for marriage!!

Our wonderful friend Angie was back in the US (she's a missionary far-away), and several other college girls spent the night at the Lightner family farm. We giggled until after midnight.

*This week is Spring Break. I wish I could say I've been really productive and have completed many tasks like painting kitchen cabinet doors and grouting tile in our upstairs bathroom. However, much to Josh's dismay, I'm sure, I'm mostly catching up on lost sleep (see Busy Weekend, above) and distracting Josh while he's working from our home office. Tomorrow I'll head up to see Shar and her kids for the afternoon. The kitchen cabinets will still be there this summer, I'm sure.

*My sister Anna is spending the week in Lithuania, visiting the other country she loves.

*Next weekend we'll head up to Sioux Falls/The Farm for Schmeckfest. It will be so good to see my Aunt Linda and Uncle John, Grandma and Grandpa, and so many dear friends at The Crossing. Funny how the word "home" keeps redefining itself.

All in all, life is good...God is consistent and very real...

The Jesus We're Getting To Know

2007-02-23T11:27:00.000-06:00

Last night was our first small group meeting. There were 9 people there, which is a great start. Phil and Cassie are wonderful hosts...comfy chairs...peach pie...

I'm pretty good with names, but my biggest problem is remembering which wife goes with which husband. Hopefully everyone else can figure it out. Just for the record, though, it's Mike/Denise, Ben/Amy, Phil/Cassie, Chad/Becky, and Josh/Sarah.

I'm kind of a mnemonic device dork, but the other girls' names are helpfully alphabetic...A B C D. If you want to join our group, your (or your wife's) name needs to start with an E, please.

Josh and I have each been leaders of various small groups in the past, and it's now being an interesting challenge to lead a group together. It's been the source of some tension over this past week as we prepared for Thursday night, but ultimately we've both had to agree to trust one another's leadership style and allow this adventure to strengthen our relationship.

The book we're going to start studying is a Phillip Yancey book called "The Jesus I Never Knew." I think it will be a good pick for this group, most of whom grew up in church and have at least a basic understanding of scripture. But do we really know Jesus, in the sense that we walk and commune and seek and talk and relate with Him? Probably not very well, or very often, would be my answer.

So I'm humbled and blessed to be part of this group, to journey with these people, to spend time in worship, fellowship, Bible study and prayer. If you live in the KC/Liberty area and would like to join us next week, we'd love to share life with you. I think there's some leftover pie.

I am job!

2007-02-15T21:27:00.000-06:00

I am pleased to announce that I am now the proud owner of a teaching position with the Greenbush organization.

The specific program is called 500 Reach, which partners with the Kansas City, KS, school district. My students are adults who initially did not finish high school, but are now returning to pursue their high school diplomas.

My work will include tutoring individual students as they take a variety of computer-based courses, tracking student progress, assigning appropriate lessons and homework, restructuring the 500 Reach writing program and doing writing workshops with students, and best of all?

No more grading papers at basketball games! Now there's something to cheer about!

In order to help each student, I'll have to brush up on my Chemistry, my Algebra II, and my Shakespeare, for that matter.

This job is a serious, specific answer to prayer. I am overwhelmed at the way the Lord allows us to come to a place of desperation...

(exhibit A: Me thinking it would be fun to have a baby, because I was getting bored at home)

so we will recognize our need for His providence and grace. Why do I forget to remember the promises of Philippians 4 ? "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

room on the couch

2007-02-10T12:02:00.000-06:00

I've spent a lot of time on our couch recently. When I'm sick, I don't like to spend the day in bed...too far from the kitchen... DVD player is in the living room... I hate the term bedridden (too hard to say the d-r-d-combination)...etc.

Fortunately, Josh makes really great nests on the couch for me (even though he insists on calling them "forts"). Just the right number of blankets, pillows propped up just like I like them, easy access to the remote control, Kleenex and Sprite nearby. But I'm better now, and the couch is less of a nest/fort and more of a dining room table/movie theatre.

Yesterday when we were trying to decide what to do for the evening, Josh was wishing that his family lived closer than North Carolina, because it would be nice to just go sit on someone else's couch for a while.

We ended up hanging out with Cameron and Sharla. Usually when we get together, we play some kind of "plot to destroy eachother" game like Settlers of Catan or poker, but we were all pretty tired after a long week, so we ended up just drinking (coffee for the girls, beer for the boys, chocolate milk for the kiddos) and chatting.

What did we talk about? I don't even really remember now...plans for our new small group, their joys and challenges of parenting Caleb and Kiersten, spiritual warfare, my job interview, quirky habits of our pets, why men wouldn't take a wingman to go lingerie shopping for their wives... you know, just stuff.

And you know what? It was great to sit on someone else's couch. Josh and I love to spend time just the two of us, and we enjoy going exciting places and learning and serving and adventuring and playing, but sometimes we just need to sit and be with our loved ones. It's like a time to recharge our fellowship batteries, resting comfortably and restoring our strength with the family of God.

So thanks, Cam and Shar, for making room for us on your couch and in your life.

I look like a monkey

2007-02-06T15:47:00.000-06:00

Happy 28th Birthday to me!

This birthday sort of snuck up on me.

I've been ridiculously sick for the past 6 days...I hope someone remembered to feed my husband and our cat, because I have not.

Last year I spent my birthday riding a bus home to South Dakota from a missions conference in Texas. That's a long ride, even (especially?) with good friends like Alyssa, Kylie, Kate, Jessica, Sue, Jenna and Char. I miss you, ladies! Also, Happy Birthday Buddy to Jamie! (and to the late great Gipper himself, Ronald Reagan.)

I was dreading turning 27 last year, feeling old and spinsterly and wanting very much to quit my masters program. I was also quite nervous because a few weeks after the Texas trip, I was planning a trip down to Kansas City to meet some e-harmony guy, Josh, for the first time. Needless to say, it's been quite a year!

So suddenly it's my birthday again. I live in a new state, have a new name, a husband and a cat, hopefully a new job, and a new understanding of God's provident grace.

Thanks to all the tremendously special people who have made it a great day and who will make this an amazing 28th year of my life.

Everybody, eat cake!

(p.s. Josh doesn't like icing, so that's win-win for us!)

sick of this

2007-02-02T14:42:00.000-06:00

If I had a job, I would have called in sick today.

With all due respect to my sister's current illness, I have one of those colds that makes putting on slippers seem like a lot of work, to say nothing of going all the way downstairs to do some laundry.

My current attention span allows me to stare alternately at the closed blinds and then at the wall and then back again, making the paint look striped. Fun!

In one burst of energy earlier this morning, I managed to get Josh's laptop, make toast, and take any vitamins and unexpired cold meds I could find in the cabinet. Medicine head, anyone?

I've been catching up on re-caps of old Amazing Race episodes, one finger poking out of the blanket nest to hit the "next page" button. Momily and those crazy Guidos are currently racing through Tunisia, which brings back some good memories.

Josh gets home in a couple of hours...hopefully this box of Kleenex lasts that long. We're supposed to go to Topeka tomorrow to have lunch with the 'rents...maybe Mom will bring me the box of Adventures in Odyssey tapes and a pot to bang on when I need someone to come fluff my pillows!

Grandpa O

2007-02-02T12:48:00.000-06:00

I just found this photo on my uncle David's website...thought it was worth sharing. Doesn't my Grandpa O look snazzy in that tie? He has such sparkly blue eyes!

You think he looks proud in this picture? Ask him about his lake...

I miss you, Grandpa. Stay warm...I'll see you at Schmeckfest.

Razor Blades and the Ex-Wife

2007-01-27T19:06:00.000-06:00

Most of the time, I don't think about my husband's ex.

I mean, sometimes we get junk mail for her (why yes, she'd love to open another credit card account); she and Josh still have some mutual friends (we came across her MySpace page which was kind of awkward); and Josh and I have talked a lot about their relationship, and how the Lord has healed him from that pain. You can check out his blog entitled Redemption Draweth Nigh to read more of Josh's thoughts about his divorce.

Together we've prayed about it and closed the door on that part of Josh's life. We wish her healing and peace and that she'll stay out-of-state.

But mostly, I just don't think about her.

Until this week.

The front windows in our living room and our back kitchen door are painted white around the sills, and on the little strips of wood between the panes of glass. That looks nice.

What doesn't look nice is that the person who did that trim work didn't bother to mask anything, resulting in a one-inch smear of white paint on the glass.

Let's see... 4 separate panes of glass per window, times 5 living room windows, times 4 edges per pane, times how many inches per edge, times...HOW HARD IS IT TO USE A LITTLE MASKING TAPE?

I spent too many hours standing on a chair or kneeling on the floor with a spray bottle of some magical orange cleanser that says right on the bottle "Not Recommended for Use on Glass" that really did make the paint easier to scrape off. (hey...it was Josh's idea)

My hands cramped up severely and I have blisters on my thumbs from inching the razor blade along the glass.

Sometimes the paint would cooperate and peel off in satisfying 5 inch strips, but sometimes I had to pick pick pick at each little fleck. You know what a razor blade sounds like scratching on glass?

IT SOUNDS LIKE HIS EX-WIFE.

Scraping off all that paint was sort of a cathartic activity, allowing me to release some pent-up frustration with her that I didn't really realize I had. It's a good thing Josh wasn't around to listen to me curse as I almost slashed the razor blade through my rubber glove, or when the chair wobbled and I banged my forehead on the window sill.

Her fault...her fault...her fault...

It's weird to realize that if she had done things better in the first place, not only would I not be scraping paint off those windows, I wouldn't have Josh in my life at all. Not quite sure what to do with that line of reasoning. I think I continue to blame her for recurring pain that I see in my husband's life; Josh is better at releasing that hurt to the Lord than I am.

I'm grateful that God's love and providence comes from a perspective that is outside of human experience. I tend to just see smears of paint on every pane of glass...a cloudy vision of grace.

with glad and sincere hearts

2007-01-22T09:51:00.000-06:00

This weekend Josh and I attended a two-part training session on leading small groups at our Vineyard Church. These verses from Acts 2 was the basis for the training, and while I'm not sure I learned anything especially new, it was a good review of how and why God wants His people to live in community and fellowship.

42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. ⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

For several months now, Josh and I have been talking and praying about the general need, and our personal desire, to connect young couples in fellowship with one another. The Vineyard has grown so large, and with 6 services every weekend, it's easy to feel disconnected from the few faces I do recognize.

After spending 2 1/2 years in leadership and precious fellowship at The Crossing in Sioux Falls, it has been a little intimidating to think about just starting up a new small group in a new town. We don't have that many friends...who would come? We live too far away...who could host? We don't know anyone else's phone numbers...how will we get the word out? Okay...time to pray.

A couple of weeks ago after church, we were chatting with our friend Bryan and his new fiancee Lori, and another couple we just met, Will and Brooke. Brooke sort of randomly said that she and Will were wanting to be in a small group; they just didn't know of one that fit what they were looking for. Bryan and Lori agreed. Yay! Answer to prayer # 1... People!

Then after the service last night, I decided to ask the couple sitting behind us if they were involved in a small group. Phil and Cassie said no, but that they just purchased a new house and really felt like they were supposed to use the space to host a Bible Study. Yay! Answer to prayer # 2 ... Place!

Then we found out from the young adult pastor, Cameron, that this upcoming weekend is Connect Weekend, where all the new small groups can advertise after each service. Yay! Answer to prayer # 3...Promotional Materials!

So basically I am just overwhelmed by the way this small group has come together, and the consistant provision and goodness that the Lord has shown through this situation. I am expectant of sweet hours of Bible study, friendship, prayer time and snacks.

Forever God is faithful, Forever God is strong, Forever God is with us, Forever!
Sing Praise!

The Year of the Vegetable

2007-01-11T10:20:00.000-06:00

January. A month of grey skies, credit card bills, finding holiday M&M's and scraps of wrapping paper under the couch, and the determination to make life different this year.

At the beginning of 2006, I made two New Year's Resolutions:

1. Pray with people.

When I told someone "I'll pray for you," I would actually take a few moments to pray with them right then. This proved to be a great challenge and a blessing to both me and my surprised friends and co-workers.

2. Eat more vegetables.

This was sort of a cop-out resolution, cleverly and intentionally avoiding the unlikely resolutions of eating less dessert or exercising more. My path to a healthy lifestyle in '06 would be lined with broccoli stalks and carrot sticks.

I actually did pretty well. Every day in my lunch, I took some kind of veggie to munch on along with my sandwich and cookies, and I purposely spent more time shopping in the produce section. Steamed broccoli with cheese, spinach salads (with smoked salmon filets!), and frozen stir-fry snow peas, red peppers and bamboo shoots became common dinner essentials.

I could list so many ways in which the Lord prepared my heart to introduce Josh into my life during 2006, "The Year of the Vegetable" ...my parents' and grandparents' beautiful examples of marriage ...learning to share the bathroom mirror with phenomenal roommates (here's looking at you, Christa, Anna, Lindsey, April and Kate) ...a variety of friendships and church fellowships to both support me and remind me that there are always more people out there who want to be my friend ...a good painting buddy who was so delighted to be married to a strong-willed woman, and who gave me hope that someone would want to put up with me someday...

But also seriously essential has been my change in heart towards vegetables.

My husband loves vegetables. (I can hear my mother trying to hold back a gleeful smirk.)

Every time I go grocery shopping or plan meals, I have to remember this. I would be happy to live on bread and potatoes, but Josh needs green things. And things that are orange/yellow /leafy/ carmelized/steamed /garlicky/balsalmicky /cilantro-esque.

Over the past few days, we've eaten potato/carrot/spinach soup, bowtie pasta with red peppers/onions/mushrooms/spinach, spinach/broccoli/carrot/olive/mushroom/tomato/raisin salad, cous-cous with yellow squash/mushrooms/onions/tomato/garbanzo beans, and split pea/lentil/carrot/celery soup. We even chop up more vegetables to put on top of a frozen pizza! Onions for the universe!

We should be poster children for the produce section at our ghetto Price Chopper!

Josh is so good for me. And so are all those vegetables, I guess. And now that I think about it, so is the gym we joined. And don't forget the fact that Josh is allergic to chocolate and likes the taste of "lite" ice cream better.

Sheesh.

We're going back to our pre-marital counselor for a two-month check-up. I can only pray that all aspects of our relationship will prove to be as healthy as the food in our fridge!

I need to be careful what I make as my New Year's Resolutions for 2007...they might actually change my life!

Luck Be A Lady

2007-01-03T08:45:00.000-06:00

This weekend Josh and I had date-night at Harrah's Casino. We dressed up like high rollers...Josh in his snappy velvet blazer and wing-collared shirt, and me in my black and silver swing dress and high heels. So much fun!

We each got $ 5 on our Casino Card. To my disappointment, you don't actually put nickels into the slot any more...it's all electronic. I'm sure it's easier for the casino, but when you win, there is no happy jingle of coins pouring out over your feet. Your Casino Card just adds 75 cents to your available balance. Not as cool as in the movies.

I'd never been to a casino before, so I was fascinated (and sort of overwhelmed) by the twinkly lights, happy-beepy machines, and sparkly waitresses. People of every hair-style imaginable pushing electronic pennies into hungry screen monitors; trying to line up pirates, pigs, or pineapple; greedy for a win.

Josh was a more agressive better, willing to risk up to 25 cents on every spin. He lost money quickly, but once won 2 whole dollars! I was more likely to bet a dime at a time. My money lasted longer, but I only won amounts like 40 cents. Our $ 10 lasted almost two hours. Good thing we don't have kids to feed!

I'm sure there's some moral lesson or deep metaphor to explore here, but we had to hurry off to the next party. We spent New Year's Day playing poker with our friends Cam and Sharla and Bryan.

The cards were stacked against Josh, and his chips dwindled quickly. Cameron and Bryan tried to read everyone at the table, betting and bluffing until they, too, lost their chips to Shar and me. No wonder they usually don't let the girls play!

All I know about playing poker comes from three sources: my buddy Schoney in Sioux Falls, the poker chapter in "Things You Should Know By Now," and Kenny Rogers' song "The Gambler."

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Overall, it was a weekend filled with the nagging thought of "maybe this time my luck will change." I got lots of time to practice my poker face and being a good loser.

I'm so grateful to rest on the promise of Jeremiah 29:11, where God says, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you."

Sure, it's fun to spend a few hours and a few bucks on games of chance. You're pretty much guaranteed to lose, but there's always that sparkly glimmer of hope for a few more pennies added to your Casino Card.

But what the Lord offers has nothing to do with chance and everything to do with certainty. His offer of eternal life is not about luck or about "maybe this will happen."

God knows the plans He has for us as we participate in His kingdom. He knows where we are, and He listens to us. The Lord is the treasure we seek, and He promises He will be found by us.

I'm betting on that.

and a Happy New Year!

2006-12-31T14:06:00.000-06:00

Our first Christmas

O rosemary tannenbaum,
how evergreen your branches!
And how you make our house smell like
pork chops or mashed potatoes!

Santa Baby, hurry down the chimney tonite!

The Honeymooners

2006-12-29T11:02:00.000-06:00

One of these days...
right in the kisser!

Pictures from our trip to Charleston are on Josh's blog:

www.sacredsalvage.blogspot.com

Playing House

2006-12-15T10:12:00.000-06:00

Josh and I just celebrated our first month-iversary. Congratulations to us! We haven't taken our honeymoon yet, but real life is starting to set in.

I read somewhere about the post-wedding depression that some women experience. After all the drama and hype and stress and stage-fright and princess-ness of of being a bride is over, suddenly I'm faced with the pile of thank-you notes and the long hours at home by myself with the cat and the new city with its busy highways, and I'm no longer a bride.

I'm a wife.

The song from Working keeps runnning through my head...

All I am is just a housewife
Nothing special, nothing great
What I do is kinda boring
If you'd rather, it can wait
All I am is someone's mother
All I am is someone's wife
All of which seems unimportant
All it is is
Just my life

In my former life, I was uber-busy with a full-time and a part-time teaching job, finishing my thesis project, leading a small-group, serving on several leadership team committees, discipling two amazing young women, maintaining multiple friendships and family relationships, and blogging on a regular basis.

Oh, and I had a long-distance stranger- turned-boyfriend- turned-fiance.

Some days, that's about the relative percentage of time and energy I gave him.

This week...let's see... I've done several loads of laundry, run the dishwasher a couple of times, dusted the new furniture, fed the cat, watched a lot of Rachel Ray's cooking show trying to get motivated to cook, fed the husband, read a book about South Carolina, helped a friend pack up her kitchen, finished Christmas shopping, wrote a million thank-you notes (actually 74), napped on the couch while my husband played video games, packed for our honeymoon, got lost driving around KC, went to a Christmas party, and blogged. (once!!! today!!! finally!!!)

Oh yeah, and when Josh comes home from work, I'm waiting at the cottage door.
Who could ask for anything more?

My about-town-working-girl little sister just kind of laughed at me when I told her what I had been doing lately.

I'm in the process of looking for a "real" job (aka substitute teaching or reading specialist something), but I've been surprisingly blessed by the whole stay-at-home "being married" thing this month. It was one thing to study Scripture about marriage, or to read "successful marriage" books before we got married, and to anticipate the theoretical joy of togetherness. But there's a practical level of being a wife that is strangely fulfilling. Who knew I'd start to enjoy doing the dishes?

I can see how it is comforting and encouraging and helpful to Josh to see a friendly face and a hot meal (or at least chips and salsa) at 10:30 p.m. when he gets home from class.

But it's more than that...for me, it's been a challenge for, and a release from, my performance- product-oriented- purpose-driven personality.

How many sermons have I heard about casting off the legalistic works-based-salvation idea of "doing" good works for God's kingdom and learning to just "be" the church, to "be" in the Lord's presence, to "be" a Christian.

Taking away all of the jobs and roles I used to fulfill has made me confront what it means to just simply love and be loved, both by the Lord and by my husband.

Taking on the "Martha" role for a solid month of housework has actually helped me understand the "Mary" role of drawing near and enjoying the presence of my beloved.

Mr. and Mrs.

2006-11-16T21:54:00.000-06:00

We got married! Yay!

Check out Josh's blog and Flickr site to see pictures from the wedding.

www.sacredsalvage.blogspot.com

I'll blog again soon, I promise.

Odds and Ends

2006-10-27T11:27:00.000-05:00

I'm cleaning out my email in-box, and I ran across a couple of funny memories from my summer in Lithuania.

Lithuanian farmers keep cows out in the fields near the houses by tying a rope around the cow's neck, and attaching it to a big 5-gallon-bucket-size cement boulder.

The cow can walk around a bit, but won't go too far.

So I was looking at several black-and-white cows in a field, and then I see this stork nearby. You know, a big black and white bird with long legs and a big bill...very common here.

Suddenly in my head, I imagined the stork and all his stork buddies protesting this cruel treatment of cows, by tying themselves up to ropes with little plastic cups full of cement on the ends, making a peaceful picket-line along the highway.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Also worthy of note: Actual sample sentences from my grammar book on comparative and superlative adjectives.

Superman is tough.

Tarzan is tougher than Superman.

But I, Big Bird, am the toughest of all.

God's fridge

2006-10-27T11:19:00.000-05:00

Thou Knowest by Katharine Lee Bates

Thou knowest, Thou Who art the soul of all
Selfless endeavor, how I longed to make
This deed of mine, adventured for love's sake,
Thy deed,--sweet grapes upon a sunny wall,
A rose whose petals into fragrance fall,
A glint of heaven glassed in some lonely lake
Amidst the heather and the fringing brake,
Our secret,--ah, Thou knowest.
Though it call
Only for pardon, still to Thee I bring
My poor, shamed deed that craved the Beautiful,
--To Thee, the Master-Artist, Who alone
Wilt of Thy grace see in this graceless thing
The pattern marred by the imperfect tool,
And know that dim, wronged pattern for Thine Own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is what I sometimes feel like when I write...that my descriptive words are flat smudges of charcoal on canvas when what I am trying to create is a three-dimensional event, a breathing soul.

I long to make words come alive on the page or in a prayer, or for my work to be a blessing to be of some value, as God creates in His kingdom.

But I have an imperfect tool and imperfect talent.

My good works, good words, are filthy rags except for God's grace. He sees my attempts to paint, or write, or serve, or love. My "poor, shamed work that craved the Beautiful." He recognizes His handprint on me, sees Christ's blood covering my attempts at righteousness and beauty.

God recognizes His pattern in my feeble artwork, and hangs it on His fridge, because He knows me. He delights in me.

I think He looks at the feeble scribbles of life I offer Him and says, "Look what My kid made!"

Be a Duck

2006-10-26T11:03:00.000-05:00

When we were in college, my friend Alyson used to say "be a duck!" as a reminder to find peace in response to stressful situations, letting the "rain" of frustration roll off your back.

Look at this duck. What kind of life is that?

Paddle, paddle. Watch the sun sparkle on the water. Quack at your friends. Preen your feathers.
Get your ducklings in a row. Gobble up pieces of soggy bread.

In Genesis 1:21, "God made...every sort of living and moving thing with which the waters were full, and every sort of winged bird, and God saw that it was good."

God definitely likes ducks.

Ducks do exactly what they are supposed to do in God's kingdom plan. Just like they are commanded in Psalm 150:6, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" Quack!

Tail-feathers waggle in the air when ducks dive down for a fish dinner, and that brings glory to God!

Because we're blessed with slightly more advanced faculties than the average duck, God gave us a few more responsibilities beyond waggling our tail-feathers. 1Thessalonians 5:16-18 says "Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you."

Rejoice. Pray. Give thanks. In everything.

Even when your dinner is day-old slices of "enriched" white bread. Even when the rain beats down and you have to hide your head under your wing.

Even when you are humiliated by Ernie singing to you in the bathtub.

Even when circumstances in life suddenly become unexpectedly difficult.
Especially then.

It is God's will for us to worship Him, to seek Him for earthly provision and spiritual fulfillment, to give thanks for His abundant grace and promised deliverance. In everything.

May my heart learn to be like Paul's as he writes in Philippians, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

That's the secret of being a duck. Contented trust in my Creator, admiration of the earthly beauty around me, finding my place in the Kingdom.

Quack! Be a duck! Hallelujah! It is good to sing praises unto our God!

# 34. He's Not That Guy

2006-10-19T18:47:00.000-05:00

I have a long list of reasons why I am marrying my fiance, including his passion for the Lord; his unequivocal pursuit of my heart; his strength and comittment to building a healthy relationship; his dedication to social justice and compassion for hurting people; his sarcastic, goofy sense of humor; his admirable work ethic and responsibility. Those are the big things at the top of the list.

Somewhere down towards the middle of the list, between #33. Humbles Me in Speed Scrabble Any Chance He Gets and #35. Makes the Best Hummus I've Ever Had, is this fact: #34. He's Not That Guy.

I've known That Guy, and gone out on a bunch of first dates with That Guy, and I am proud to say that My Guy? Is not That Guy!

Thanks to Sars and Miss Alli (and Regina, apparently) at www.tomatonation.com for making me laugh.

Sars: Whenever a guy whom you initially think is interesting winds up being the same kind of emotionally stunted schmuck you thought you'd dodged this time, there's this "ohhhhh NO . . . he's THAT guy" revelation.

Alli: Exactly. And it's all just so unoriginal. I would at least like someone to come up with a new way of sucking. I've seriously had it with the quasi-dark-souled quasi-artistic Black Turtleneck Slacker, the reigning King of Irony with his collection of Kool-Aid memorabilia, and especially the Smirking Self-Professed Feisty-Girl-Liker who is secretly afraid of every woman except his mom.

Sars: Oh, man. And let's not forget Told He Was Cute Too Many Times In High School Guy and I Know Everything About Your Internet Business Because I Read Forbes Once A Year Ago Guy.

Alli: That's really wrong. Be glad you live in the wrong part of the country for Yes, In Fact I Did Kill That Myself Guy.

Sars: Ew.

Regina: What about Oh, I Don't Watch TV Guy?

Sars: Doesn't Watch TV Guy sucks.

Regina: You know he watches America's Funniest Home Videos.

Sars: Hee. Totally.

Alli: And don't even get me started on Have I Casually Mentioned My SAT Scores Guy. Ooh, I hate that guy.

Sars: What about You'd Better Like My Friends Because You'll Never See Me Without Them Guy?

Alli: And his buddy I Don't Quite Live With My Parents But I Have All Their Old Furniture Guy, and the buddy's roommate, Gets All His Current Events Information From Watching Fox News While Eating Froot Loops Guy, kicked back in the living room.

Sars: Right next to Repeats But Does Not Comprehend Or Accurately Attribute Deep Thoughts Guy, whose acoustic guitar case says "I DON'T BELIEVE IN BEATLES, I JUST BELIEVE IN ME -- FERRIS BUELLER."

Alli: Poor John Lennon.

Sars: That Guy's a close relative of Surely You Don't Listen To The Corporate Schlock Masquerading As Pop Music These Days Guy.

Alli: Who has no friends.

Sars: But is a spiritual brother to Tolerate My Obscure and Painful Jazz Collection Guy.

Alli: And now, let's all wave to Has No Sense Of Humor About Getting Salsa On His Pants Guy.

Regina: How can you have no sense of humor about that? It's salsa! It's your pants!

Sars: And yet he's unamused.

Alli: That seems impossible.

Regina: You know who else is not very funny? I Am Writing The Great American Novel So You Can Get The Check Again Guy.

Alli: Ah, yes. And There's Only One Place To Sit In My Apartment And I Sit There Because It Faces The PlayStation, So Make Yourself Comfortable On That Plastic Crate With The Folded Blanket On It Guy.

Regina: Oh, wait. Is he the same as Hey Why Don't I Make You Dinner, Oh Wait The Only Things In The Fridge Are An Opened Can Of Schlitz And Half An Egg Roll, So Why Don't We Just Run Down To Burrito Palace And Pick Up Some Nachos To Go Or Something Guy? Because he sounds vaguely familiar.

Sars: Yeah, that's him. On Opposite Day he takes the guise of I Went To Italy On My Parents' Credit Card For Two Weeks, And Now I'm A Fascist About Olive Oil And Can't Consider Funyuns A "Valid" Snack, Even Ironically Guy.

Regina: Hee, Opposite Day.

Alli: Snacks are a double-edged sword, though. I'm not crazy about I Eat Circus Peanuts And Pez For Lunch Because It Gives Me A Sense Of Whimsy Guy either.

Sars: He's eating circus peanuts. Nobody is excited about that guy except the Brach's Corporation, and even they're like, "We have to keep making these things? What is WITH That Guy?" On the other hand, he's better than I Just Want To Be As Honest As I Can Guy.

Alli: Oh, but how can you be mad at him when he's a jerk? He Just Wants To Be As Honest As He Can! It's not his fault! Nothing is his fault! He's just being honest!

Regina: The problem with That Guy is that he is totally not genuine. Or interesting.

Sars: Or he treats you like, because you're a woman, you're just some kind of irrational swirl of nonsensical behaviors. Don't do that, That Guy.

Alli: He can't help it. He's just That Guy!

-----------------------------

So in case you were wondering about some of the reasons why I love my fiance...

# 34. He's Not That Guy.

who am i anyway?

2006-10-19T09:57:00.000-05:00

Recently, I received a discouraging result from an on-line job application. The 50-question survey indicated that while I placed "High Value on Practical Application of Theory," I placed "Low Value on Student Learning." Ouch.

I disagree, obviously, and wonder which questions I answered incorrectly. I'm not confident that this school will want to hire me.

It's hard to know how to respond to an evaluation like this. I'm reminded of the worst thing anyone has ever said to me, which was that I had "a negative influence on students."

I mean, what can you say after something like that? "Nuh-uh!" just doesn't seem adequate.

After that evaluation, and again after this on-line application questionnaire, I had to ask myself some tough questions about myself as a teacher, and as a human being. I concluded that an on-line survey couldn't begin to understand personal teaching style, and there was enough evidence to the contrary about my influence on students, that I didn't need to abandon this particular career ship.

Believe me, I've considered it.

It makes me think of the lyrics from A Chorus Line:

Who am I anyway?
Am I my resume?
This is a picture of a person I don't know.
What do they want from me?
What should I try to be?
So many faces all around, and here I go...

I'm grateful for what the Lord has revealed about my identity...the promises of scripture that I am His beloved child, His chosen worshipper, His equipped ambassador, His forgiven friend.

Those are the quintessential elements of who I am...who I am striving to be.

And while I don't know what I'll do to pay the bills, I have peace that the Lord knows me much better than any on-line survey or school administrator, and He says that I am worthy to work in His Kingdom.

That's the best evaluation I can ever hope for.

--------------------------------------

On a sort of unrelated note, I've had some down-time at work today, and ended up taking a bunch of silly on-line surveys like "Which Breakfast Cereal Are You?" (Raisin Bran) and "What's Your Professional Wrestler Name?" (Chainsaw Terror or Spitfire). Yeah... I took it twice... so what?

I think I was trying to assuage my hurt feelings from the job interview survey. Just for the record, not only do I place "Low Value on Student Learning," but if I were a leprechaun, my name would be Lorna Kirwan.

If I were a 50's housewife, my name would be Regina Shirley. Sounds like a Cabbage Patch Kid.

I am also from the planet Mercury. For whatever that's worth.

Hey...maybe the school should hire Regina Shirley! I bet she values student learning.

numbers make me tired

2006-10-17T21:03:00.000-05:00

1 Inch added to the hem of my fiance's wedding pants

2 Radio stations between Omaha and St. Joseph

3 Items accidentally left at the fiance's house

4 Types of Doritos at reunion picnic

5 Years since I graduated from Sterling College

6 Kinds of dessert served at our couple's bridal shower

7 Dead skunks on the side of the road

8 Items crossed off my to-do list today

9 Boxes of my belongings moved to the fiance's house this trip

10 Minutes late The Amazing Race started on Sunday

13 Friends at the SC Class of '01 reunion

61 Dollars for a Missouri Marriage License

310 Love Gift dollars in the Living Room Furniture Fund

588 1/2 Hours until the wedding

900 Students at Derrick Thomas Academy, where I interviewed for a reading specialist position

1283 Miles put on my car this weekend

Value of fellowship with old friends, parents, and my home church family? Infinite.

the saddest funnie

2006-10-12T10:47:00.000-05:00

Hobbes: Wow, you're working on your report already? It's not due till Thursday!

Calvin: Yeah, I know...Mom says the pills must be working.

Hobbes: Well, it's snowing outside. I thought maybe we could...(Calvin ignores him)...I don't know...you tell me.

Calvin: Sorry, I wasn't listening...I really have to finish this.

And then Hobbes just...isn't...anymore.

Apple Cheeks

2006-10-06T11:26:00.000-05:00

What an amazing bunch of women! Apple cheeks on every one of them!

Holly Hunter was the voice of Elasti-Girl in The Incredibles!

Molly Ringwald was the cherry-flavored darling of the John Hughes trifecta: Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink!

Too bad Sheryl Crow's cover of Cat Stevens' "First Cut is the Deepest" leaves out the best line in the whole song, because otherwise, I am in great company.

Other pictures produced matches to David Don't-Hassel-the-hoff.
Apple cheeks, indeed.

That Face

2006-10-06T10:49:00.000-05:00

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me.
Love was out to get me,
That's the way it seemed.
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.

Then I saw his face,
Now I'm a believer!
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave him if I tried.

a posse ad esse

2006-09-27T12:56:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a Latin dictionary comes in handy:

When dealing with your fiance's pet: Feles mala! cur cista non uteris? Bad kitty! Why don't you use the litter box?

When registering for wedding gifts: Furnulum pani nolo. Thanks, but I don't want a toaster.

When taking a bath: Ubi est mea anaticula cumminosa? Where's my rubber ducky?

Back in the day, I had some friends who thought quid quid latine dictum sit, altum videtur! Anything said in Latin sounds profound!

But now as I'm packing up my apartment in preparation to move to Kansas City, or Our Town, as I like to think of it, I find myself questioning my a) need and b) desire to hang on to such a relic of my former linguistic glory.

But it's not just space on the bookshelf that matters. This dictionary represents a time when I was awkwardly searching for my intellectual, social, and spiritual worth and identity. It was a rough couple of years.

But the people I was trying to impress (aka the boys I liked) aren't a part of my life anymore.

The doubts I had spiritually have been relentlessly proven wrong.

I am certain of God's faithfulness to me, and my purpose in His kingdom.

I have moved a posse ad esse. From possibility to actuality.

I am not hiding from the past, or from struggles that the Lord lead me through, but I don't want a reminder of my old self taunting me from the bookshelf. I choose to put off those things.

I also don't want to have a place of retreat for my brain and heart to linger, when life with my future husband becomes frustrating. I don't want old voices whispering through the pages, "This is who you used to be...think of whom you could have become..."

I am committed to choosing to be who the Lord says I am today.

A posse ad esse. From possibility to actuality of faith.

Where do you go?

2006-09-26T11:52:00.000-05:00

The man I am going to marry has adventure running through his veins. Unmapped lands, untried combinations of spices, untested methods of fixing garbage disposals or lawn mowers...he'll figure it out. If there's a tree on the prairie, he'll try not to fall out of it, waving at me from the top branch.

And the crazy thing is that he's asked me to come along. Into uncharted territories, unnamed cities and undefined spaces, into undiscovered places in my own heart and mind. He's Superman, Peter Pan, the last action hero. And me? I'm...I'm with him.

It's scary sometimes, leaping off cliffs and splashing through waterfalls. I feel like I often dig my heels into familiarity and resist his outstretched hand helping me fly.

Look at these pictures of Lois Lane and Wendy. Do you see the trepidation in Lois' face? Can you tell from Wendy's grasping hands and flailing feet that she'd rather be on the ground?

He loves the Five for Fighting Superman song that goes

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me.

It's not easy to be him, but he's been given the grace to dream big dreams and go big places. And he's invited me along. I'm with him, for better or worse. That's my choice.

I will try.

Thanks, Dave Matthews, for putting it in words for me...

I am no superman not at all
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, and that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Where you go, is where I want to be

Where are you going? Where do you go?
Are you looking for answers
For reasons under the stars
If along the way, you are growing weary
You can rest with me until a brighter day

I am no superman, that's for sure
And I have no answers
I am no hero, oh don't you know
But I do know one thing,
Where you are is where I belong
Where you go, I do know, is where I belong

grease monkey

2006-09-14T20:58:00.000-05:00

I get my car(s) fixed a lot.

The guys down at TiresPlus (Michael, Tom, Will, Matt, and the cute one I flirted shamelessly with for a year and a half) know all about my rims, my oil pan, my transmission, my masters degree, my sub jobs, and my fiance.

The guys call me by name when I walk in and let me change the channel on the TV in the waiting area. The first summer I lived here, I remarked off-handedly that TiresPlus should have a punch card like Subway, where every 10th repair is free. They think I'm pretty funny.

This relationship has survived two and a half years, three apartments, five roommates, two cars, a million miles, and nearly that many dollars. I can only hope that my fiance and I do as well.

I know very little about spark plugs, carbuorators, mufflers, or ignition switches. But I'm learning. The guys at TiresPlus are always eager to show me what they're working on, and tell me about the variety of ways my car(s) had been injured.

As a girl, I feel fairly vulnerable when I walk into a car place. I am at the mercy of these men and their oil-stained hands. And who knows...maybe my fiance or my dad could get a more honest opinion, or a better deal, or give the mechanics specific instructions about what to fix.

I'm usually a little vague. What's wrong with my car? Well, it's "a scary humming sound" or "a wobbly feel" or "a suspicious-looking puddle in the garage." TiresPlus teaches me to trust, and have hope, and depend very practically on God's providence and mercy and the wisdom of others.

So the other day I had my car in to have the wheels aligned and the tires balanced, although I asked for it the other way around. As usual, I sat and waited, watching TLC and tying ribbons on wedding invitations. When the guys were done, I went up to the counter to pay.

Tom, who's in charge on Tuesdays, took the bill out of my hand and signed his name across the balance due. He grinned at me and said, "This one's on us. Your punch card was full."

Grace from a grease monkey.

I love TiresPlus.

the long way home

2006-09-05T22:39:00.000-05:00

Grandpa Detrich always liked to take the long way home.

First we'd go to the Dairy Queen for a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cup...then out on dirt roads where wild turkeys scuttled into the ditch...over rickety bridges spanning dry creek beds...past the field where the '52 flood brought an underground spring suddenly to life...up to the top of Indian Hill to look at the new housing developments or the mist settling grey around the grain elevator and all the way to the eastern horizon.

He liked to drive across the Milford Lake Dam, and the back roads by Easy Jack's, or through the Oak Grove or the Bonebrake, pointing out the skeletons of ramshackle farmhouses and stone structures that used to be somebody's "place."

Grandpa Detrich always had to go check on something...a real estate deal for a new family in town, a property dispute out at the quarry, a file down at the office, or the fence along the creek at our aunt's farm.

Nothing was ever quite on the way and I think Grandpa liked that.

Peacocks roost by walking under their designated sleeping spot and jumping straight up into the air to land precariously on that branch...Clive Cussler writes himself and one of his classic cars into every Dirk Pitt novel...the best cherry pie in the world is made by the women from the Alida-Upland church and sold at Chris Bletcher auctions...a Pizza Hut mint will last over an hour if you just set it on the top of your tongue and try not to suck on it.

That's the kind of stuff you learn on the long way home.

The neighborhood cats will leave the birds alone after a couple of shots from a pellet gun. Other rummy players will overlook what you've laid down if you keep your piles close to the edge of the table and out of order. There is a bottomless pot of coffee at the Senior Center, and an endless game of "guess the number" to see who pays for it each month.

Homemade ice cream tastes best eaten outside. Don't mow the lawn when the grass is damp. The human body is fragile, and prone to mysterious injuries that need bandaids and iodine. There's nothing better than a nap with a lap full of sunshine and prism rainbows.

Small towns in Kansas are worth saving... worth celebrating.

That's what Grandpa taught me.

I pray he found the long way home at last.

What's in a name?

2006-08-29T08:34:00.000-05:00

Upon making the decision to join the Burton family, I became curious as to just what sort of folks these Burtons, worldwide, are. Both of my grandmothers are very interested in genealogy; however, I'm pretty sure this blog entry has nothing to do with actual bloodlines.

There are apparently a lot of people in the world with the last name of Burton...enjoy a few pages from my new "family" album!

Tim Burton...the bizarrely creative genius behind such films as Edward Scissorhands, Beetle Juice, several Batman films, James and the Giant Peach, and the second Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Be sure to catch Johnny Depp in Tim's upcoming Sweeney Todd.

Dan Burton... Indiana's Republican US Representative (Vice Chairman of the Subcommittee on Asia and the Pacific). He's in his twelfth year in office, and reminds everyone to "Vote Hoosiers!"

Virginia Lee Burton...author and illustrator of Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel. This book was made famous by Ramona Quimby who enjoyed the loud sound effects of the steam shovel, whose name is Mary Anne.

Gary Burton... honored with a Grammy Award for his 1971 jazz album Alone at Last, which features his solo vibraphone concert recorded at the 1971 Montreux Jazz Festival. This is a vibraphone.

Burton-on-Trent might not be Stratford-on-Avon, but Burton is widely known as ‘the brewing capital of England.’ Please remember to drink responsibly...have a half a beer.

Burtons also make snowboards. I don't know anything about snowboarding, except that it looks cold and adventurous, and has a lingo completely foreign to me. I plan on working on my Stale Fish Grab or maybe a Nollie so I can really feel like part of the family and bust some phat air!

Lucy in the Sky

2006-08-28T08:30:00.000-05:00

10 Facts and Commentary about Transparent Crystals of Tetrahedrally Bonded Carbon Atoms.

1. Diamonds are the hardest natural material on earth. They score a 10 on Mohs' scale of mineral hardness! In some ways, I have found our engagement to be the hardest (and simultaneously beautiful and sparkly) time of my life. If that Mohs' scale went all the way up to eleven, then I could measure it properly.

2. It takes a temperature of 1325°C and a pressure of 50,000 kg/cm2 to make diamond underground. That's like having the Eiffel Tower dropped on your foot, on a 2417 degree day in France.

3. Diamonds have been around for a long time. The first recorded description of a diamond is in a 296 BC Sanskrit text. I do not know the Sanskrit word for "diamond," so I will have to trust Panini on that.

4. Some people believe that diamonds have magical powers. The Romans believed that diamonds would protect them against poison and plague, or that diamonds could cure enchantment. There's two ways to think about that. Either it means that kisses don't do anything, but engagement rings have the power to turn frogs into princes...or it means that the impending reality of marriage "cures" any enchantment in young lovers' hearts.

5. Diamonds can be deadly. Catherine de Medici, the Queen of France in 1560, used to poison her rivals by spiking their drinks with diamond dust. On a side note, she also made a rule that women had to wear corsets, so she gets Two Thumbs Down.

6. A diamonds repels water but attracts fat. This must be why I like to eat bacon but don't like to wear a swimming suit.

7. Diamond is a good conductor of heat. When it is not in contact with a source of heat, a diamond always feels cold. Me too. Fortunately, my fiance is like a furnace.

8. Most diamonds radiate visible light when exposed to ultraviolet light. This means if you are Ross Gellar, you shouldn't wear too much bling on your improbable second date with the girl with the black light.

9. Marilyn Monroe's song about diamonds (sung by Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge) has a catchy title, but is actually about the glass ceiling, the stock market, budgeting and the aging process; it uses adjectives like liasonic and continental; and includes the tongue-twister "better bets if little pets get big baggettes." I can see why it's such a hit!

10. Diamonds are not actually this girl's best friend, but I'm blessed to wear an oh-so-sparkly transparent crystal of tetrahedrally bonded carbon atoms as a sign of a precious promise from the man I love.

Hard Times

2006-08-27T12:30:00.000-05:00

Almost exactly a year ago, I sat transfixed in front of the TV, watching an ominous swirl of clouds approach the Gulf Coast. The wind blew, and the sky got dark, and then Katrina came. The nation watched the tragedy that swamped New Orleans and much of Mississippi with murky water and governmental ineptitude.

This morning, I saw a documentary update on the rebuilding process. Some people are managing to recreate a semblance of normalcy in Louisiana and Alabama, but many other families still live in FEMA trailers, crowded in with relatives, or remain "temporarily relocated" in Dallas and other cities across America.

I wonder what those people think about every day when they wake up. Do they hear the sound of rushing water and people screaming for help?

Do they mourn every moment for lost memories, photographs, friendships, opportunities, the familiarities of home?

Or are there more immediate struggles that eventually start to outweigh those enormous burdens?

Children starting another year of school need new shoes again, parents heading to the office or factory every morning still don't feel fulfilled by their work, the car which helped them escape the rising water is low on gas again. Couples continue to argue about money, or how to communicate more effectively, or where to spend Thanksgiving this year. Single people still wonder if they wouldn't be happier if they were in a relationship. Elderly people feel the everyday aches and pains of an aging body.

These difficulties have nothing to do with Katrina...it's just life. Is that an easier storm to weather?

How do you survive devastation? How do you survive at all?

There's a Reva Williams song that asks, "Why can't 'hard times' be tornadoes, or monsoons, or just an earthquake?/ It's the small things, not 'the big one' that tear us down, that make our hearts break."

Lord, I lay these small things at your feet. Forgive me for being selfish, for being stubborn and prideful, for forgetting what's important. I want to cling to your throne as the waters rise and subside, and not wander away even on sunny days.

Flying Dropkick Off The Top Rope

2006-08-25T11:47:00.000-05:00

I'm not in the mood to read.

I grew up without a TV at home and spent the better part of my childhood curled up on the couch with Encyclopedia Brown, Caddie Woodlawn, and the Baby-sitters' Club.

I loved these books; they were about kids like me, kids with ambition, fear, parents, homework, friendships, and a little bit of spending money. The situations they found themselves in, I could identify with. Okay, so I didn't know anybody named Bugs Meany, but I knew that the noontime sun doesn't cast a shadow, so the banker must be lying about the robber's escape. And I never spent a whole silver dollar at the merchantile on rock candy and hair combs and harmonicas for some little Indian kids, but I did have a bonnet and a secret passageway back to the 1880's through the lilac bushes. And I baby-sat all the time, although thankfully not for Jackie Rodowsky, the Walking Disaster.

That's why I loved reading. Because I could imagine myself in the adventure, on the trail to Oregon. Those kids were my friends, or they would have been, if they would have known me. There was so much to learn from them about creatively overcoming adversity, giving to the less-fortunate, and winning at growing up. I owe those authors a lot.

I still love to read, just not today. Today, I want to watch television. Specifically, professional wrestling tapes from the late 80s. Yes, I am a reading teacher, and have preached many a sermon on the Evils of the Idiot Box, but I'm worn out from my first week in 6th grade, and I just want some WWF.

My uncle used to tape WWF, and we'd watch hours of SummerSlamVII at the farm. Jake the Snake, the Bushwhackers, the Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake... we knew them all. One of my favorites was Shawn Michaels (either as a Rocker with Marty Jannetty, or when he was the Heartbreak Kid, but not when he was part of Degeneration X...don't worry.)

Here are the Rockers with a Twin Flying Dropkick against somebody in an unfortunate fuschia leotard.

Talk about suspension of disbelief.

I lost interest as professional wrestling became scarier...Kane, Triple H, Batista, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels now...seem so serious in their intent to inflict pain on one another. Give me a little more face paint, more animals as sidekicks, more tank-top ripping, and a few less matches called "Hell in a Cage."

For a decade, WWF was a terrific combination of gymnastics, fashion, and ego all rolled into one thrilling clash of bulging biceps and acting ability. Sure it was fake, but it was so fun! I think I learned stuff, too, like teamwork and innovation (if your partner is getting double-teamed, don't just get in the ring, bring a steel chair!). I also learned determination and perseverance by watching the weariest wrestlers kick out of a Sleeper Hold, fractions of a second before the 3-count.

Okay. Enough talk, a little more action. Bring it on, Vince McMahon!

p.s. Apologies to my college literature professor. You did your best.

Dresses Without Pockets

2006-08-24T16:04:00.000-05:00

"They just can't run down to the bureau at 3:05 a.m. and be married by 3:10. They have to give just a little thought to the process,"said Clark County Clerk Shirley Parraguirre.

Thanks, Shirley.

She's commenting on Las Vegas' new policy prohibiting 24-hour wedding chapels. County officials approved a new 8 a.m.-to-midnight schedule that will take effect next Wednesday.

And as a soon-to-be-married individual, I must applaud the efforts of Shirley's department.

If the rest of us have to wrestle with important decisions like whether or not to allow the groom's cake to be a red velvet armadillo with grey frosting, celebrities and others prone to making hasty decisions should have to think at least a little.

It's funny, or perhaps unfortunate, the amount of time, energy, and preparation that goes into planning a wedding. I'm a little frustrated with the whole process myself, and I am fully aware that we've only just begun (thanks, Carpenters).

I'd like to be thinking about potential ministry opportunities with my future husband, or how we're going to resolve the "he likes having a cat/she doesn't" issue, or if we should wait until he's done with grad school to start a family, or what ornaments to hang on our first Christmas tree, or how to actually live out scripture about spiritual leadership and Biblical submission, or how to combine responsibility, teamwork, sacrifice, friendship, provision, joy, honesty, commitment, passion, communication, forgiveness, hope, individuality, memories, respect, and a shared tube of toothpaste into a lifetime of marriage.

But what I've actually been thinking about is whether to a) carry a bouquet; b) have my sister-maid-of-honor carry a bouquet; c) both...but that means she has to hold both of them during the ceremony, which is awkward; or d) neither...but then what will we do with our hands since our dresses don't have pockets?

Seriously.

Since our ringagement back in June, I've been asked more questions about wedding plans than I ever thought possible. People don't want to know why I love this man, or how we're going to use our life together to glorify God. They just want to know if I have found a reasonably priced photographer. Which, as of today, I have not.

My wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I guess I hope that it isn't. I think that day will be wonderful, but I hope the days and years keep getting better. After all, we've only just begun.

Go down to the office, Moses

2006-08-23T12:34:00.000-05:00

This week, my 6th grade students are learning classroom expectations. Yesterday we discussed what to do if you finish your work early, how the sign-out sheet works to go to the bathroom (to save the teacher from writing out individual passes), where to turn in a completed assignment, and what time they are dismissed for lunch. All of these details are posted in various spots around the room.

What kinds of questions do you suppose I was asked today?

"I'm done with my work...what should I do?" "I need to go to the bathroom. Can you write me a pass?" "Where do I put my assignment when I'm finished?" "When's lunch?"

I answered the first few hours of questions, but eventually started just pointing a yardstick at the wall where all the guidelines were posted, or at the basket clearly labeled HOUR 4 LANGUAGE ARTS ASSIGNMENTS, or at the schedule posted next to the clock.

Oh, and also, "Do you have a boyfriend?" and "Do you always wear flip-flops to school?" to which I just smiled and nodded and continued explaining how to check out books from the library.

But these kids are not the only forgetful ones when it comes to rules and expectations.

This morning as I was driving to work, I heard a Go Fish song called "The Ten Commandment Boogie." It seemed like a catchy way to teach kids some of God's basic rules, although now at lunchtime, I can't remember any of the lyrics. I mean, I know what the Commandments are, or where to look them up if I needed them, but not the actual words to the song.

And I wondered if God ever got tired of me asking the same questions over and over and over. "Do you really exist?" "Do you really love me?" "Do you really hear me when I pray?" "Do you really have a plan for my life?" "Will you really speak to me?" "Do you mean it?"

Maybe God just sometimes wants to point a yardstick at my Bible and say, "Don't you remember? You know this information. Look it up. I told you yesterday. Please try to remember what I tell you. Believe me. It's for your own good."

May these verses from Psalm 119 be the true desire of my heart.

I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees.
Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Tripping Over Each Other

2006-08-22T08:05:00.000-05:00

" Step...together...step...together...step...together...step... "

In the books I used to read as a kid, the three-legged race was always the last event of every turn-of-the-century church picnic or county fair.

Freckled girls in gingham and barefoot boys in overalls were tied together at the ankle; their senses heightened by the competition, the unexpected physical contact, and the promise of a blueberry pie for the winners to share.

The pairs lined up at one edge of the field, poised and eager; the crowd gathered, happy and full of fried chicken.
Doc Somebody, who drove a fine matched team of bays even though he had a Model T in the garage, tottered out to the middle of the field and started the race with a feeble but enthusiastic wave of his hankerchief.

The racers lept forward, in the lurching gait of the three-legged, laughing and calling to eachother to "step" with the outside feet..."together" with the inside feet..."step" outside... "together" inside..."step...together...step..."

Some teams made progress at first, but invariably ended up dropping in laughing, tangled heaps of elbows and apron strings. This tumble was usually the catalyst for romance between the twiggy girl with droopy kneesocks and the shy neighbor boy whose cowlick refused to lay straight, even on Sundays.

Ah, young love. Ah, church picnics. Ah, droopy kneesocks.

In my life, however, three-legged races have never been a catalyst for romance. In fact, they have only resulted in rope burns, twisted ankles, and grass stains.

But maybe love itself is a three-legged race. A lurching attempt of two peope in the general direction of shared future happiness. And blueberry pie.

It's difficult to find a balance of how far to reach on one's own (with the outside leg), and then to determine how quickly to move the inside leg so that each person is supported fully. In a relationship, the tasks required of each individual separately can cause an unsettling tug on the shared center support. And likewise, if the inside legs move too quickly or too far forward, or even not far enough, the outside independent legs can buckle.

And there are so many possible complications in three-legged racing! If one person gets distracted by a bird, or an untied shoelace, or by the progress of another team, down you go!

I feel as though my own three-legged race has been a bit off-kilter lately, like we're stepping with different size strides, or not getting our feet pointed in exactly the same direction. We're still running, or at least tripping over each other in a forward direction, but our calls of "step...together...step..." are getting lost in the prairie wind.

So we decide to get up again, to listen more closely, to patiently match pace, to laugh about the grass stains, to forgive the unintentional mis-step, to keep our eyes focused on the finish line.

The crowd cheers us on.

The blueberry pie will taste so good.

Believe It

2006-08-15T22:55:00.000-05:00

I already hate blogging.

I hate how the thoughts that occupy the space in my head refuse to be accurately translated to the space on this page.

I hate how often I hit the backspace button and watch twenty-seven minutes...or twenty-seven years...of thought disappear into the blankness.

I have quoted and deleted Jesus and Milton and Peppermint Patty. I have erased a million best-selling novels. My sister has a delightfully random blog, my fiance' has an intensely heartfelt blog, and I ?

Have a title.

Suspension of Disbelief.

It isn't much, but it took all year...

In 1817, Samuel Taylor Coleridge (of "Kubla Khan" fame) wrote "that [his] endeavours should be directed to persons and characters supernatural, or at least romantic, yet so as to transfer from our inward nature a human interest and a semblance of truth sufficient to procure for these shadows of imagination that willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith."

Which means...

In theatre or fiction, audience members and readers are asked for a "suspension of disbelief," accepting the limitations of a performance medium in exchange for entertainment. Suspension of disbelief makes song-and-dance musicals, sketch comedy, and hypothetical humor work. It's why Mystery Science Theatre is hilarious. It's why The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is horrifying. It's why Tod and Copper make me cry.

Because I buy it. For the moment, I put poetic faith in Walt Disney, or Christopher Guest, or Shakespeare, and allow myself to delight in something that isn't actually technically possible.

Maybe this is how the guy in Mark 9 was feeling. His son was possessed by an evil spirit (wicked convulsions...foaming at the mouth...gnashing teeth...the usual). The man asked Jesus, "If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." Jesus responds somewhat dryly, "'If you can?'" And then Jesus says, "Everything is possible for him who believes."

The man immediately exclaims (before Jesus does anything), "I do believe; help me overcome my disbelief!" He's ready to accept whatever Jesus can do for his son, no matter how impossible it seems.

And then Jesus makes it happen...cue the music...enter the miracle...admire the special effects... exit the evil spirit!

I do believe; suspend my disbelief, Lord. Help me overcome my doubt and my pride and be ready for whatever You choose to do in my life.

So that's what this blog is about. Suspension of disbelief. Entertainment and faith. Laughter and learning to surrender my life to Jesus Christ more each day.

Believe it.